Lost

I raged war against myself over you.

01.04.19 Thread

For once I want to be your gravity

Your sense of sanity and comfort.

I want us to build our sanctuary as a home

Where we can safely rest our heads

I spin, like a storm, I destroy myself with conversations I create.

And in your arms, beneath your lips,

I am safe once more.

As you tell me we are okay

You repeat that you only want what is best for me.

But who are you to determine where my happiness resides?

Who are you to decide I am best without you?

Who are you to tell me who I will love?

Do not push me away and blame the stars for their path.

Do not guilt trip yourself into thinking I am better without your head resting next to mine.

Do not love me as if walking away is just as easy

When I speak on behalf of my heart, I speak with intensity.

You will never hear me stutter when the words “I love you” slip from my tongue

And your name will always stay safe in my mouth.

My heart is a battlefield where many wars have been won.

However, many lives were lost, all in which belonged to me.

But with death came prosperity and within that prosperity, strength.

When I speak on behalf of my heart, I speak with intensity.

You will never hear me say I am incapable

Because just when I feel like dying, a stronger me arises instead.

The moon these days shines brighter than the sun.

It illuminates my naked soul

Because you left my world in darkness.

I watch the sun rise and set.

Clockwork.

Another day without you by my side.

Each day worse than the last.

Why would you hang the moon

If you weren’t willing to see me bare,

Unclothed, existence exposed for you to see?