You Can’t Live Without Me

You asked me before if I could live without you

To which I responded with, “yes”.

But my heart that beats inside my chest, beats for you.

And I know you think you could live without me too, I asked, you’re 100% sure that you knew.

But the truth is, you would be okay for only a moment or two.

But the search for me in every woman you meet would drive you crazy.

And it’s simply because you will never find someone who adores you so strongly in spite of every mistake, every flaw, every argument.

You will never find someone who recognizes her own faults and thanks you for loving her in spite of herself.

Or fights with kisses instead of words or punches.

You will never find someone who will defend you until she cannot stand, cannot speak anymore, and then some.

You will never find me in any other woman you encounter in your lifetime.

So yes you could live without me.

But now that you’ve met me, living a life without me would be the hardest thing you would do for as long as you live.

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2018

I woke up from a dream.

I’m all hazy.

I woke up from a dream.

It was crazy.

Where the sun had an expiration date.

And the air we breathe was about to dissipate.

And the freedom we were once guaranteed

Was now ripped bloody from our hands,

No longer pristine.

The little girls grow up without fathers.

The little boys grow up to protect their mothers.

America invites: “Welcome to the bubble”

But you’ll be shot if you so much as mumble.

And the invitation is only to the rich.

If you’re in need of our shelter:

“To hell with it”.

The water has turned black from our “fearless leaders”

Cowarding in the shadows from the intellectuals who are ready to summon their personal grim reapers.

Protests.

Fires.

Earthquakes.

Desires.

Hurricanes.

Flooding.

Extinction.

Please hurry.

The land is filled with trash.

And I’m not just talking about politics.

“Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”

will be remembered in history books

Rather than a motto to live by.

Babies are dying.

Mothers keep crying.

Husbands stay cheating.

Wives continue smiling.

Car accidents.

Rare Illnesses.

Freak incidents.

Upsetting circumstances.

Taking lives left and right.

When did life become so uptight?

The world is falling apart.

People continue to hide in the dark.

Like mice, they flea when the lights turn on.

But no one says a word.

Because time is almost up.

I woke up from a dream.

But this dream was just a recap of 2018.

10.05.18

I’m the loudest laugh in the room

Through the clouds I can see the blue.

I am a hard worker

An earnest learner

And a GPA of a 4.2.

I give freely and expect nothing in return

Because karma is a friend in which we all yearn.

Shaped

I was told I was shaped as an hour glass.

As in time running out

As in my gradient slowly slipping away.

I was told I was shaped as a pear.

As in sweet like candy.

As in my existence forgotten by most.

I was told my figure was rounded.

As in talented.

As in likeable.

But I guess it depends who you ask.

because to some I relate easily

but to others, they never even catch my name.

Instead they will call me by my shape

and forget my face.

06.13.18

I’ve grown up in a house of pure chaos.

So chaotic that it was masked perfectly by a delusion called confusion.

Let me explain

All my life I was taught to say this and

Do that.

Dont think this but

You need to think that

ALWAYS lacking an open mind

Because an open mind got punished for asking questions.

Questions that begin with

“What if…” or

“Why…”

And punishment may not have been harsh physically — I got my fair share of beatings in a household owned by my father (or lack thereof) — but instead it was psychologically twisted.

Where the walls were the floors and if you stepped on a window, it would become an exposure.

But my family, you see, doesn’t like the sunlight.

Like a cacti, they don’t need constant watering to stay alive, but instead they prefer a drought.

So you must imagine their surprise when a sunflower wilts without it’s water source.

You see

My family is filled with half-hearted smiles and pretty family portraits.

But in reality, if we unmask the faces and reveal a true emotion, the cover is blown and the only ones left are Him and Her.

While the rest of us walk around with sore cheeks from the publicity of acting like the All American Family.

Lies and truth blur and I’m blindfolded and told to pick one and stick with it.

But the twist is: the truth is only their truth and the lie is the truth being withheld.

Are you confused yet?

Welcome to my own personal hell.

Sunrise

Silhouettes in cotton candy

tumbling over one another

like a dance between two lovers.

Speckled in glimmers of fantasy

as she dips beneath the water

only to resurface a few hours later

in desperation for her lover.

He waits for her in the dark

illuminating her world.

But she cannot catch glimpse

for the is night over

and he must fall beneath the sea

to seek his sweet paramour.